Episode

February 5, 2019 by Spencer Barnes Leave a Comment

350: There Are No Rules in This House

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NCAA NEWS (5:22)

An extended crack or correct about basically every routine at that insane Oklahoma/Florida meet
- A fall is a fall is a fall is a fall is a fall
- Confusion about the code of points and rules used to judge NCAA (also from the actual judges, apparently)
  - Rules Modifications for NCAA
- The deductions that should have been taken in an example routine from this preposterous display of scoring
More Hall of Fame crack with UCLA and Oregon State
The worst crime of the whole weekend: UCLA’s leotards
Sad crack: the underscoring of Sarah Shaffer’s perfect Y1/2
Anger come-down: Oregon State’s death by hugging, Emily Muhlenhaupt’s 9.975 on bars, and Lexy Ramler’s perfect beam
The SHOCKING TRUTH about NCAA scores in 2019
Bowling Green wins this week’s random stick-themed nonsense award

MINI-COMMISSION The Anti-Wolf Turn (1:09:41)

Abzug has commissioned a segment all about turns, asking most crucially, do any less ugly turns have the same difficulty as wolf turns? Oh my yes. We discuss. Jessica talks about backspins. A good time is had by all.

MEET NEWS (1:26:21)

Ana Padurariu is the new all-around champion of Elite Canada, Ellie Black has a million floor pass options just because she can, and junior Zoe Allaire-Bourgie competed with the seniors due to awesomeness and took 3rd AA.
Kristal Uzelac Bodenschatz competed at the Buckeye Elite qualifier after five months of training, and we highlight all the newest qualified elites
News on Maile O’Keefe and Adeline Kenlin

GYMTERNET NEWS (1:37:52)

Annie Heffernon is the permanent senior vice president of the women’s program
Michigan Radio NPR: Federal Regulators release report citing 21 instances of Clery Act violations by Michigan State
North Korea is considering participating in the Korea Cup in South Korea
New York has passed the Child Victims Act
Oleg had all the surgeries again
Diego Hypolito says, “it seems that the Brazilian athlete has no value”
Jessica makes Spencer talk about a feel-good story and he barely knows what to do
Simone Biles is a badass (duh)
Updates on post-birth college gymnastics, leadoff 10s, and beam music

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January 29, 2019 by Spencer Barnes Leave a Comment

349: The Stick Stick and the Money Gun

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NCAA NEWS

Oklahoma extends its national lead at Metroplex, and Maggie is back
Jessica has a moment about Stanford, featuring a story of public embarrassment from her college years (yay!)
Auburn has a stick stick, Washington has a money gun, and Maryland has a sparkly turtle shell. The real heroes.
Weekly feelings alert: The Ari Guerra story
- Or, does gymnastics fetishize and celebrate risking your future health too much?
- Example, Kim Hamilton’s excellent book starts with her post-gymnastics crawling on the floor, in too much pain to stand.
The problem with scoring the rotation order—and what’s the best lineup strategy if you know Carol is coming to town?
Crack or correct: The Natalie Wojcik problem and the most WTF vault score ever for Penn
So that happened: John Roethlisberger, the Auburn dudes, and we’ll never be the same
A sexism Rage-o-Meter from…Spencer? Stop listing the names of the parents like that’s a stat, and maybe hire some more women for these jobs

GYMTERNET NEWS

We discuss how much money USAG is paying Steve Penny, Mary Bono, and Box of Scarves. NOT GREAT, BOB.
The Senate has an “AHEM, HEM” moment re: decertification and the USOC’s tax-exempt status.
Katarzyna Jurkowska-Kowalska is retiring
Getting ready for Elite Canada and the Buckeye Kristal Uzelac qualifier this weekend
Updates on Amy Tinkler, Ashton Locklear, Roxana Popa, Beth Tweddle, and the potential for world peace
The latest on Jessica’s quest to become an arm scientist
Why doesn’t the high bar have padding on it?
Nina gets another…oddly shaped award

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January 22, 2019 by Spencer Barnes Leave a Comment

348: Break the Beam, Literally

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COLLEGE GYMNASTICS (03:36)

SEC excitement won the day on Friday. We ask: is there actually a way to make wins and losses matter in college, or is it just a nice idea?
- Plus, Ruby’s shriek of joy, Alexa Al-Hameed’s Tkatchev, the Priessman/Hundley friendship featurette for people with feelings, Finnegan being all Finnegan, and Baumann being all Baumann
- Crack or correct: Lexie Priessman’s 9.825 VT (8:08) and Trinity Thomas’s 9.950 FX
Sabrina Vega literally broke the beam in Georgia (or it bowed to her greatness)
Spencer has no words for the insane scoring at the UCLA/Arizona State meet.
Oklahoma scores 197.000, which is like 193.000 for Oklahoma
- Maggie Nichols out with a bruised heel
- Crack or correct: Anastasia Webb’s 9.950 on beam (45:20)
McKenna Merrell-Giles wins the hilarious beam fall award, and what’s the deal with Skinner’s scores?
Random stick-themed nonsense of the week: Oregon State’s stick chainsaw, and Illinois’ stick STICK
Shout outs to Arden Hudson of Ball State for vaulting a handspring repulsion 2/1, and Sophia Hyderally of Alaska for her magical floor.
Crack or correct: Ona Loper’s 9.750 vault, New Hampshire’s 49.425 beam rotation ((1:24:00)

ADVICE CORNER (1:08:59)

What is proper meet etiquette? Jessica and Spencer have some…differing views about how one should behave in the audience at a gymnastics competition. As you might imagine.

GYMTERNET NEWS (1:26:44)

John Engler finally resigned from MSU
Kathryn Carson has a board update. Everything is great apparently, unless you ask anyone
US women have national team camp at EVO this week, and there’s drama over who got invited and who did not
TRIGGER WARNING: The trouble with SafeSport
Rosters are out for the Stuttgart AA world cup (SIMONE AND ALIYA) and Melbourne event world cup

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January 15, 2019 by Spencer Barnes Leave a Comment

347: The Michigan Mess & the Viral Queen

Katelyn Ohashi at the Cal Collegiate meet in Jan 2018 where her floor routine went viral, again. (Photo credit Amy Dixon/Daily Bruin)

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CONTEST:

Prize: University of Denver hat, shirt and sweatshirt.
How to Enter: Tell us why you love Denver gymnastics and use the #DenverGymCastic on Twitter or Instagram.
Deadline: Sunday, Jan 20th at midnight Pacific.
Do I have to be a Club Gym Nerd member? No! Open to all.

IN THE NEWS (3:00)

The Rhonda debacle: Michigan hires, then fires, Rhonda Faehn in the span of a single weekend. Because gymnastics totally has its life together.
- What the team members are saying, what Rachael Denhollander is saying, and how we navigate the politics of whose voice gets to matter—especially when people we agree with happen to disagree with each other
- Why gymnastics fans largely have a better impression of Rhonda than of the other USAG employees involved
- How the University of Michigan royally screwed this up in every way
Dan Baker replaced MLT as the developmental program head coach, and USAG didn’t say a word about it

COLLEGE GYMNASTICS (30:50)

Auburn upsets LSU
- Derrian Gobourne is a star (1:14:15)
- The entire Auburn bars lineup is taking Abby Milliet pills
- What happened to McKenna Kelley
- How DD handled the dudes in the front row
Denver defeats Michigan and Alabama
- Gushing about Alexis Vasquez for all eternity (15:40)
- Jessica’s inside stories from visiting Denver during the preseason
- Alabama has a stick bedazzled Thor’s hammer
Plus…
- We’re desperately worried about Maggie limping after floor
- Trinity Thomas debuts for Florida (1:16:56) and Kathy is everyone
Anaheim quad meet
- College meets are playing the national anthem before the athletes enter
- Ohashi goes viral for her floor routine again (our first interview with Ohashi in 2013 and second in 2015)
- Special appreciation for Kelley Hebert and Sarah Liddle of UC Davis, Alma Kuc and Sofie Seilnacht of Cal for NOT BEING BASIC
- Why Jessica cried over Marz Frazier’s floor routine
- Spencer rants about the competition’s horrible strip club poster
“Splashdown”-gate
How would an Olympic team of Nichols, Ross, Finnegan, and Skinner do?
Crack or Correct: Justice for Lexy Ramler, leo scoring is real, and more bizarre judging in Alabama

GYMTERNET NEWS

The American Cup roster is out! We break it down gymnast by gymnast
USAG hasn’t been paying the men’s national team. RUH ROH.
- Update: They’ve now been paid for January—why it’s too late and way too little
Plus: USAG finally suspends internet troll Don McPherson, Geddert case updates, Aly broke a bone, and rules about FIG nationality changes

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January 8, 2019 by Spencer Barnes Leave a Comment

346: Peng Is Here!

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COLLEGE GYMNASTICS WEEK 1

Jessica and Spencer are joined this week by a special guest, the legend that is Peng Peng Lee, to recap the first weekend of the college gymnastics season

RECORDS: Oklahoma sets a first-weekend record and BRENNA DID BEAM, breaking Jessica
Peng reveals the secret to perfect beaming
INJURIES: Bailie Key is going to miss another season and Lexie Priessman is coming back from her 9th surgery
- Peng takes us through the roller coaster that has been her injury history, from back injuries that could have left her paralyzed, to stopping gymnastics for a year, to her multi-season ACL drama
- Plus, how Peng’s sixth year came about, why bridges are stupid and no one should do them, and where you can find her now
OPPORTUNITIES FOR COMEDY: Arkansas has a hog nose on a chain, Alex Hyland has Fresh Prince of Bel-Air floor music, and Maya Bordas wins the beam save award
HIGHLIGHTS: Natalie Wojcik is our freshman of the week, Gracie Kramer’s floor is Spencer’s favorite because of weird, and Claire Gagliardi from Ohio State has the most fantastic Yezhova (14:38)
CRACK OR CORRECT:
- Rachel Dickson’s mathematically impossible beam score
- Maddie Desch (1:05:55) receives 9.250 for a beam routine with no fall—we discuss what’s right and what’s wrong about this score
- Were any of the vaults really 10s?

GYMTERNET NEWS (1:33:30)

KENZO DID MAI’S FLOOR ROUTINE AHHHHHHH
KRISTAL UZELAC IS RETURNING TO ELITE AHHHHHHH
Jessica has been reading too many spy novels: Russian doping conspiracy theory edition
USAG and Safesport news:
MELANIE AHHHHHHHH

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December 18, 2018 by Spencer Barnes Leave a Comment

345: So Long 2018

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INSPIRATION NEWS (1:58:00)

We’re going to Tokyo!
Rachael Denhollander and Maggie Nichols are inspirations (duh)
Simone is dominant (also duh)

ROPES & GRAY (9:10:00)

The Ropes and Gray Investigation released its report
- What we learned about Scott Blackmun and Alan Ashley
- Nassar’s unsatisfactory score in 2012 and unpacking Martha’s not wanting “the gymnasts to be with the boxers” comment
- The FBI…what were you even doing?
- Kathy Kelly and Renee Jamison were in charge of handling abuse reports…so nope
- THEY KEPT THE RECORDS IN A BARN
What do we do with this information? What was the point? What do we need now?

GYMTERNET 2018 – A Year In Review (1:08:46)

The GymCastic Indictment Draft – As we review the events of the year that was, yell DRAFT every time you want to put someone (or something, or a concept) on your all-indictment fantasy list

BRING ON 2019 (1:37:07)

New seniors we’re too excited about
- (ITALY)
  - Giorgia Villa – Youth Olympic Games Champ – Bars
  - Elisa Iorio – Bars
  - D’Amato twins, Asia and Alice – Asia Floor
- Ksenia Klimenko (Russia) – Bars
- Anastasiya Bachynska (Ukraine) – Beam, Floor
- Qi Qi (China) – Beam
- Tang Xijing (China) – 4th AA at Youth Olympics – Floor
- Amelie Morgan (Great Britain) – 2nd AA at Youth Olympics – Floor
- Emma Slevin (Ireland) – Bars
All the elites heading to college competition in 2019. Next time we meet, the college season will have started! (1:43:25)
- - Marz Frazier and Norah Flatley (UCLA)
  - Trinity Thomas, Sydney Johnson-Scharpf, Leah Clapper (Florida)
  - Emily Gaskins (Alabama)
  - Alexis Vasquez (Denver , another Chow-baby in college!)
  - Olivia Trautman (Oklahoma)
  - Bailey Ferrer (LSU)
  - Molly Frack (Auburn)
  - Grace Quinn (Cal)
  - International Elites in the college:
    - Canada: Shallon Olsen (Alabama), Megan Roberts (Georgia), Madeline McLellan, Meaghan Ruttan (Washington), Meixi Semple (Iowa State)
    - Great Britain: Abi Solari (Cal), Phoebe Turner (Iowa State)
    - Spain: Ana Palacios (Iowa State)
    - Czech Republic: Anna-Maria Kanyai (Bowling Green), 2014 world
Study proves adult gymnastics is the foundation of youth :
- “People in their 70s who have been exercising regularly for decades seem to have put a brake on the aging process, maintaining the heart, lung and muscle fitness of healthy people at least 30 years younger… As for muscle health, the findings were even more significant… researchers were surprised to find the 75-year-old muscles of lifelong exercisers were about the same as the muscles of the 25-year-olds.”

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December 11, 2018 by Spencer Barnes Leave a Comment

344: Shushunova vs. Silivas 1988 (Commissioned)

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The tie that wasn’t a tie! This week’s episode has been commissioned by Club Gym Nerd member RayRay, who requested an episode on “An Abundance of Shushunovas (TM Jessica) – The 1988 battle between Shushunova and Silvas.” Thank you for letting us do this, RayRay!

Psst: Don’t worry, we haven’t forgotten about the dumpster fire, so just a few words on that before we begin. We’ll get into it in detail next week, but you can read the entire Ropes and Gray report here.

WATCH: UK Coverage; US Coverage

We discuss:

Who won the AA battle, event by event, routine by routine
Silivas’s own thoughts about the hardest mats of all time
Perms and shorterall leos and mullets — the big 3
THERE IS AN OUTLINE OF A BUTT ON THIS SPRINGBOARD
Classic (i.e. horrifying) US fluff pieces
Floor whisperers: We interpret the floor choreography with 100% accuracy
The most 80s thing that has ever happened in history ever
The SHOVE of victory
Where are they now? Checking in with the main characters

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December 4, 2018 by Spencer Barnes Leave a Comment

343: The Andrade Cup & the Dumpster Fire of Lies

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THIS WEEK (1:30)

First, Scott Bregman of the Olympic Channel joins us to talk about his fantastic interviews with Simone Biles and John Orozco and handle Jessica’s request for a naked interview with a bunch of Japanese men, or something

IN THE NEWS (19:50)

We discuss what we learned about THE DOCUMENTS from Scott Reid’s report on the depositions in Aly’s lawsuit against USAG and the USOC – it ain’t good.
The FIG Congress approved creating a Gymnastics Ethics Foundation — is this anything?
The FIG has proposed changes in the way athletes qualify for worlds — we like!
The USAG board has a new chairwoman – is there a secret golf cabal we should know about?
Lou Anna Simon has been charged with lying to police – oh, that’s too bad.
Alex Naddour has been removed from the suspended members list.

COTTBUS (56:50)

Jessica’s thoughts on the crowd, swimming naked in Germany, Milad Karimi’s crib, white boards, and genetically modified Ukrainians
Spencer jabbers endlessly about the Olympic qualification points rules, what this means for 2020 (not so much yet) and Jade Carey’s strategy
The Rebeca Andrade Cup – THAT DTY YOU GUYS
The beam final was a mess, but Flavia got 2nd even with a fall because perfection
Jade Carey did…OK. She took 2nd on VT and 5th on FX with 3 OOBs
Marta Pihan-Kulesza has brought back her Pink Panther routine, and it was AH-MAH-ZING
Pros and Cons of how the Olympic rules have changed the apparatus world cup
- Pros: This is the most we’ve ever cared about an apparatus world cup
- Cons: Some of these finals were better than worlds: Cough, cough MIYACHI

UNCLE TIM ALERT (14:34)

Uncle Tim attended Cirque’s show Volta and has an extra special review for us

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November 20, 2018 by Spencer Barnes Leave a Comment

342: A Quitter’s Try – The CNN Parkettes Documentary (Commissioned)

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This episode has been commissioned by Club Gym Nerd member Taylor, Princess of Sexy Data, who requested a deep dive into the infamous CNN Parkettes documentary, Achieving the Perfect 10, that we can all quote by heart. We discuss

Background
- What’s the deal with Parkettes?
- The legacy of this piece
- Jessica’s experience going to the Parkettes camp as a youth (!)
- Why we think Parkettes agreed to this
Part 1: A 7-year-old with a broken ankle
- TOPs testing gives Spencer a panic attack
- How NOT to sound like a creeper when talking about a 7-year-old
- Everyone says “suck it up” 100,000 times because healthy
- We root for everyone to quit and go to a pool party
Part 2: Get confident, stupid
- Demeaning people definitely makes them more confident
- The Mrs hates everyone, especially gymnasts, and teenagers, and you
- Jessica is still fawning over Nicole Harris to this day
Part 3: Annie, are you OK?
- “Do you just think it’s more important to have bobbles so people will give you attentions?”
- Why we’re obsessed with deadpan comedy genius Annie Fogerty
- OH GOOD THE WEIGHT PORTION, THIS WILL GO WELL
- “Way to give up, Annie, way to give up”
- “Was that a try, what you just did? What kind of a try? Is there such a thing as a quitter’s try, like lackadaisical?”
- What exactly is a quitter’s try?
- The Kristie Phillips cautionary tale
Part 4: Aftermath
- Where are they now?
- What this says about elite gymnastics, and why USAG learned all the wrong lessons from how horrified we are by it
- The problem with typical American parents’ view of sports

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November 13, 2018 by Spencer Barnes Leave a Comment

341: The Call Is Coming from Inside the House

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GYMTERNET NEWS

The latest on…bum-bum-bum…decertification
- Mary Bono was submitted by THE USOC
- Is decertification inevitable…or not?
THE DOCUMENTS
- We’re being asked to believe some pretty ridiculous things right now…
- …so we performed a play about what might maybe have happened
- Save your applause until the end
Rules Clarifications. At worlds, the FIG held a forum to clarify rules and it was eventful. We CODE NERD OUT about:
- The messy chalk crackdown
- “No face painting. This is sport, not theater”
- No choreography onto the floor
- No soccer flopping
- The swing ring police (YES!)
- The two-foot-layout police (YES!)
- The side jump police (YES!)
- The beam rhythm police (YES!)

THIS WEEK’S INTERVIEW

The myth, the legend, actual real-life big-boy sports reporter Will Graves of the AP joins us to discuss his experience in Doha and the current state of US gymnastics, including

If he floated away in a flood
Crowd size, and whether worlds should ever go back to Qatar
His secret meeting with the country’s #2 (and interest in the rainbow leotard)
How he approaches USAG differently than in, say, 2015
Whether Simone is the greatest thing ever to be, ever, in the history of time and the universe, ever ever ever
The current state of men’s gymnastics in the US

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Episode

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NCAA NEWS (5:22)

MINI-COMMISSION The Anti-Wolf Turn (1:09:41)

MEET NEWS (1:26:21)

GYMTERNET NEWS (1:37:52)

FURTHER READING

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NCAA NEWS

GYMTERNET NEWS

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COLLEGE GYMNASTICS (03:36)

ADVICE CORNER (1:08:59)

GYMTERNET NEWS (1:26:44)

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CONTEST:

IN THE NEWS (3:00)

COLLEGE GYMNASTICS (30:50)

GYMTERNET NEWS

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COLLEGE GYMNASTICS WEEK 1

GYMTERNET NEWS (1:33:30)

LINKS

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INSPIRATION NEWS (1:58:00)

ROPES & GRAY (9:10:00)

GYMTERNET 2018 – A Year In Review (1:08:46)

BRING ON 2019 (1:37:07)

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FURTHER READING

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THIS WEEK (1:30)

IN THE NEWS (19:50)

COTTBUS (56:50)

UNCLE TIM ALERT (14:34)

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GYMTERNET NEWS

THIS WEEK’S INTERVIEW

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