Episode 97 Transcript

JESSICA: What would you- what if men had

UNCLE TIM: Beam music?

JESSICA: Well-

UNCLE TIM: Oh I have my beam music picked out, honey

JESSICA:Oh you do

UNCLE TIM: Yes of course

JESSICA: I thought you were going to do like *inaudible* music. Ok go. I’m ready. I’m ready.

UNCLE TIM: No. It would totally be Save the Best for Last.

JESSICA: [gasps]

UNCLE TIM: It would be a tribute to Shannon Miller’s 1992 beam routine

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: during tour

[[INTRO MUSIC- EXPRESS YOURSELF]]

JESSICA: This week: Ellie Black dominates at Canadian Championships, Mikulak travels to Portugal and J-Lo kicks some booty at the Anandia World Cup.

ALISON TAYLOR: Hey gymnasts, Elite Sportz Band is a cutting-edge compression back warmer that can protect your most valued asset- your back. I’m Alison Taylor on behalf of Elite Sportz Band. Visit elitesportzband.com. We’ve got your back.

JESSICA: This is Episode 97 for June 4th 2014. I’m Jessica from Masters Gymnastics.

UNCLE TIM: And I’m Uncle Tim from Uncle Tim Talks Men’s Gym.

[NEWS MUSIC]

JESSICA: This is the best gymnastics podcast ever in the history of the universe, bringing you all the news from around the Gymternet. Let’s start this week with a little bit of a discussion about what happened at the Anandia World Cup. Did you enjoy your viewing of this event, Uncle Tim?

UNCLE TIM: Yeah, for the most part. I mean, I guess my question for you is is this a good time to hold the…this World Cup event? Because we’re two weeks after the Women’s European Championships and basically one week after the Men’s European Championships and now we’re hosting an FIG event in Europe. Um, what do you think about that?

JESSICA: I mean, it’s interesting because it seems like basically this is the meet that no Europeans go to and all of the South American countries go to. Um it seems like since no one from Europe is going to go ‘cause they were just at European Championships, it makes more sense to host a World Cup in South America after this; in a place that hasn’t just had these Championships, which is basically what, you know, European Championships are. So yeah i just, I feel like it should be in South America. Like, I would like to go to Argentina or Chile. So let’s- how about there? I would like to volunteer those countries [laughs].

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

JESSICA: Things are really, when you look at the… who’s going to Portugal it’s all South American gymnasts, pretty much. I mean there’s a couple of like the Slovak gymnasts, the Portuguese gymnasts of course, um some people that were injured for Europeans.
UNCLE TIM: I think it was just bad timing on everyone’s end because this year both European Championships and this World Cup were moved, so the European Champions last year, in 2013, were held in April and Anandia was in mid June. And this year uh… the European Championships were pushed back from mid April to mid May and then the World Cup was pushed forward from mid June to end of May, beginning of June and it was just… I don’t know, it looks, it seems like a very bad… it seems like poor communication between the European Union for, of gymnastics, whatever it’s called. EUG is the uh… the acronym and the FIG. Yeah, I don’t know, it just seems like poor timing.

JESSICA: And then I wonder if this has something to do with the Ghent World Cup being cancelled because of the, it was a monetary issue but not enough participants, too, and then maybe the whole schedule needs to be re-shuffled.

UNCLE TIM: I don’t know, yeah. Something has to happen. Anyway, let’s move over to the results. Let’s start with the women. On vault, Teja Belak of Slovenia won with a 14.112. Bars, uh Jessica Lopez of Venezuela won with a 14.325.

JESSICA: Woo-hoo!

UNCLE TIM: She also won beam with a 13.850, and the home country girl of Ana Filipa Martins of Portugal won floor with a 12.875. It was interesting watching this meet because Port- uh the Portuguese had their little soccer banners and their flags and it is so clear that Ana Filipa is like a total rockstar in Portugal. Where- whenever she was up, the Portuguese were like going crazy in the sides the stands and they it was almost like a soccer match. But without the taunting and dirty chants.

JESSICA: [laughs] And she was so amazing when she won. I mean, it was so beautiful. She was crying and she was so excited, it just it shows, um Emma was talking about this just how much these like challenge events and World Cups really mean to the countries that you’re not gonna alw- you know, see always winning the World Championships, like this is their time to shine and that’s great to see everybody having success at their various levels and in their own country. It’s just really cool.

UNCLE TIM: Yeah. And also watching their celebrations got me thinking. So, you know, thinking of across the sports. They’re doing a lot of the things soccer people are doing without dirty taunting and stuff and it made me wonder why don’t we have the crude chants like we do in soccer? What is so different about gymnastics? Is it the danger level? ‘Cos gymnasts are going upside down so you don’t want them to get hurt? Is it a question of amateurism? The gymnasts aren’t necessarily professionals so you don’t feel entitled to yell at them? Is it a question of age? Sometimes they’re younger so they might have more delicate sensibilities? Is it a question of class, you know, gymnastics tends to be for the more affluent in terms of, you know, being able to train and in terms of being able to go to the events, um so do we expect spectators to be quote unquote more civilised? What do you think, Jess?

JESSICA: That’s a really interesting question. Um I just think like, I don’t know one thing is because I think everybody enjoys the sport; we don’t have gang mentality, uh like us against them because it’s… we enjoy the gymnastics, that’s what’s different it doesn’t really matter who’s going. You’re a fan of the gymnastics regardless of where they’re from. Umm… and I also think it is the danger level, I mean you’d never wish for someone to get injured because it’s so dangerous. It’s not an us versus them. That’s just not a thing, really. I feel like you only see that in the soccer countries, who become a fan because someone in their country’s doing really well. But, you know… we just don’t have that. Except in the NCAA I guess a little bit but even then it’s not… it’s it’s different compared to other college sports, gymnastics is-

UNCLE TIM: Yeah

JESSICA: Way less of that kind of stuff.

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

JESSICA: I mean there’s a little bit but it’s so mild.

UNCLE TIM: Yeah

JESSICA: What do you think?

UNCLE TIM: I don’t know, I think it’s a combination of so many things. And I- I don’t know. I will have to think more about this. Listeners, if you have some ideas, please feel free to contact us on our website or on our Facebook page we’d love to hear your theories as well. Um but let’s move on. Let’s start with vault, and Belak of Slovenia. She… she did a handspring front full in the tucked position and she also did a Yurchenko one and a half and the funny thing about her is she just kind of walks out of these skills and then turns to the judges and salutes and it got me thinking because these vaults just seem so easy for her, like there was no squat on the landing of either event. She stood very upright and it just maybe seemed like her coaches might not be pushing her enough, like I feel like she could be doing harder vaults easily if she were in a different country, you know like Romania or Russia or the United States, some place like that would really push her on vault, she would be definitely performing more difficulty and it made me think Jessica who is your Te- Teja Belak…um you know, some gymnast who, if they just got the right coach, you they would be, mmm I don’t know maybe like five times better?

JESSICA: Well this is an interesting question because I feel like, you know you never know what the stra- I just wanna like play devil’s advocate for her for a second. You never know what the training thing is she in a gym without a pit? So you’re not- you don’t really go for things unless you know you’re gonna do it. And if you do, you only do it at a major championships where it’ll actually be worth the risk. Who’s from a different country? Well, you know what, that’s so hard for me to think about because I always think exactly the reverse, like what Americans could compete for a different country and do really well but they’re totally held back because we have way too much depth or we just don’t send enough women’s artistic gymnasts to events. Well tell me yours, and it’ll help me think of one.

UNCLE TIM: Well this was mine [laughs] JESSICA: [laughs] I mean another one besides her! Um I would say per- perhaps Elisa Haemmerle of Austria, she also competed at this meet. She did a very simple first vault. She did a handspring front pike, I want to say, and it was… it looked just waaaay too easy for her; I thought she could have done something much much harder.

JESSICA: I don’t feel like I’m ever watching someone who if they… I feel like it’s coaching, I feel like it’s cultural.

UNCLE TIM: Huh, what do you mean by that?

JESSICA: So, a lot of times I’ll watch a gymnast and I just I can see what you’re saying, they could have harder stuff, they could have better form or something but I feel like a lot of… in a lot of countries there isn’t the mentality of all or nothing, like life…

UNCLE TIM: Mmm,

JESSICA: should be more rounded, there’s the mentality that life should be, you should just have more elements of different things in your life than to devote yourself singularly to a sport in your youth is just not healthy and it’s not supported and um I just, I feel like a lot of the countries that don’t really excel, that has more to do with that. And I- it’s not that I don’t agree with that, either. I just think it’s um… there isn’t the cultural support for being basically a professional at such a young age.

UNCLE TIM: Gotcha. Ok, well let’s move on the to Jessica Lopez or as John Roethlisberger would call her J-Lo, and he would continuously call her J-Lo, as he did last year during the pro gymnastics challenge. Um she won bars and beam and she was pretty much a cut above the rest on both events um on bars she did a Tkatchev to an in-bar Gienger. Um… her pirouetting- so she does some Shaposhnikova variation and then does an uprise to clear hip to handstand pirouette, I want to say. And her pirouette just looks a little funny for some reason and I can’t figure out why it just looks different to me but it does. What did you think of her bar routine, Jessica?

JESSICA: I love it. I always thought she just looked so over-trained for a long time and I don’t think she looks that way at all anymore. And also, I love that she’s connecting two releases in a row. I wish that her toes were pointed on her in-bar Gienger because ugh it’s like all pretty pretty pretty and then like FLEXED FEET I mean like flexed feet and not just a little bit I mean like poof.

UNCLE TIM: Worse than Bridget Sloan?

JESSICA: Oh my God yes, they’re like Aly Raisman flexed feet. But but it’s really cool to see that so I just think she looks-

UNCLE TIM: Really cool to see what, sorry?

JESSICA: That she’s doing the two connected skills

UNCLE TIM: Oh! [laughs]

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: I thought you were it was really cool to see such awesomely flexed feet. Ok. I was like uhh I don’t know if I can be on this podcast with you anymore, saying that.

JESSICA: [laughing] No. It was awesome to see her going for it and doing that. And just- she just looks like healthy and happy and strong, so.

UNCLE TIM: Yeah [laughs]. And then she also won balance beam, and that I think… watching her routine compared to the other competitors routines, I can see that her splits were just a little more split than some of her competitors

JESSICA: Right

UNCLE TIM: Yeah, on her switch leap, is was just… when she hit the split it was just a little bit better it was a more virtuosic performance, shall we say. I would have been shocked if she didn’t win bars and uh and balance beam, just because the level of competition wasn’t quite up to where she is. For instance, on bars, there was a lot of double pike dismounts. On beam, we saw the Gainer pike of the end. Um we saw a couple of double fulls off the end, so was more on lines with I would say NCAA routines in terms of difficulty and Jessica had you know more of an elite difficulty level. It’ll be interesting to see what happens at the World Championships if she’s able to make an event final. I know last year, many people were disappointed when she didn’t make the bars event final at World Championships, so she’s one to keep your eye out for. In interesting floor music choices, there was Elisa Haemmerle of Austria. She has a Lady Gaga mix on floor and we haven’t discussed her floor routine on the show yet. Jessica, how did you feel about Gaga for floor?

JESSICA: I mean, if you’re gonna do Lady Gaga, at least do some other instrument playing it like the violin or a whole orchestra or whatever this was, the hammer hammer…what’s that instrument called that they have over there?

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

JESSICA: The hammer something with a hammer? What’s that called?

UNCLE TIM: I don’t know. Glockenspiel?

JESSICA: Glockenspiel! Yes, one of those. I don’t know why I’m just saying hammer over and over. So, I appreciate that element of her routine. I appreciate that she had the Born This Way music; I think that’s a fantastic anthem for the gay rights movement. Uhh… [tentative voice] but you know I mean at least it wasn’t European techno music

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

JESSICA: So that’s my positive spin on it.

UNCLE TIM: Gotcha. My positive spin is that I prefer Haemmerle’s performance to the vomit artist who puked rainbows over Gaga at South by Southwest this year.

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: You can google this. It’s on YouTube if you want. Um, I mean performance art is just not my cup of tea and so I liked this performance like 20000 times more than that.

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: Umm moving on. I I find it interesting, usually we think about beam music in the NCAA, I mean I don’t think a lot about it but at this meet there was also beam music going on in the background. There were just random songs that I’m sure the competition uhh… the competition masters, I was going to call them. The people who putting on the competition.

JESSICA: [laughs] If I run a meet, I want to be called Competition Master! That’s it! New name!

UNCLE TIM: The competition masters were just playing in the background. For instance, Haemmerle during her beam routine, in which she did a lovely double turn, by the way, she got the Vengaboys ‘Boom Boom Boom Boom’ [Boom Boom Boom Boom plays in background] I want you in my room. And she also got La Bouche- ‘Be My Lover’ from the nineties.

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: So Jessica, what would be your beam song?

JESSICA: It would probably be Shakira. But not like not now Shakira, like early like the original Shakira. [Shakira music plays] It would be one of the like the ‘Moscas En La Casa’. That one probably would be good because it’s like slow and it’s like, like beam I feel should be a little slow, a little whimsical, but it has a little beat. I feel like that’s how beam, beam is that kind of expression, for me when I do beam. I’m not one of those like fairy fingers, like Danusia Francis.

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

JESSICA: On beam. That doesn’t work for me.

UNCLE TIM: What would you- what if men had-

UNCLE TIM: Beam music? Oh I have my beam music picked out, honey.

JESSICA: Oh, you do?

UNCLE TIM: Yes of course,.

JESSICA: I thought you were going to do like pommel horse music. Ok go. I’m ready. I’m ready.

UNCLE TIM: No. No it’d totally be Save the Best for Last.

JESSICA: [gasps]

UNCLE TIM: [Song starts playing] It’d be a tribute to Shannon Miller’s 1992 beam routine
during tour

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: That was her song. And it’d also totally be snobby. You know like, ‘cos if I were a female gymnast, I would totally be last on balance beam because I would be a rock on balance beam.

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: And I’d be the best.

JESSICA: Of course you would. And you, you would have correct wrist positions,so it would be better than Shannon Miller’s performance on tour.

UNCLE TIM: True. It’d be so much better, so. That would be my beam song. My pommel horse song would- I don’t know, is there like, probably like ‘Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy’

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: Are those the lyrics or did I just like-

JESSICA: I was just- is that a real song? I’m gonna have to find it, if it is. [Music starts playing] Is that just like your sentiment, or is that just be ‘cos you’d be falling on the horse a lot?

UNCLE TIM: [laughing] It’s a country song. I don’t know, what are the lyrics?
[Save A Horse, Ride a Cowboy plays]

JESSICA: [laughing] Oh no!

UNCLE TIM: Yeah! Save a horse, ride a cowboy! Yeah, Biggie Rich, yeah. Ok. Yes, because I’d rather ride a cowboy than ride a pommel horse.

JESSICA: Who wouldn’t? [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: While we’re on the topic of pommel horse, let’s talk about the men’s results. Eddie Penev of the USA won floor with a 15.625. Alexander Naddour of the United States won pommel horse with a 15.225. Arthur Zanetti of Brazil won rings with a 15.7. Eddie Penev of the United States won vault with a 15.1. Kevin Antoniotti of France won parallel bars with a 15.5 and Sam Mikulak of the United States won high bar with a 15.45.

JESSICA: Damn.

UNCLE TIM: And let’s- yeah, let’s start off with a little floor discussion. So, on floor we had Sam ‘dancecam’ Mikulak. We had Enrique Tomas ‘pornstache’ Gonzalez of Chile.

JESSICA: Yes!

UNCLE TIM: We had Eddie ‘I used to be Bulgarian but now I’m American’ Penev. Um for those who don’t know why he’s called that, he used to compete for the Bulgarian team in the late 2000’s and now he’s part of the United States-

JESSICA: He competes for Stanford

UNCLE TIM: National team. He competed for Stanford, he finished up last year but yes he was part of the Stanford team for a long time. So, um Eddie came in first, Mikulak came in second and Pornstache came in third. Um, so of the three medalists, Sam competes first- he’s he’s pretty good. He has a giant hop on his back one and a half punch double front. His air flair is much improved but that hop kind of took him out of- took him maybe out of the runnings, you know, definitely opened up the door for Pornstache and Used-to-be-Bulgarian. Sidenote, Sam was sweating his butt off in the gym. As a result, there was no dancing to be had!

JESSICA: [groans] That’s no good. No good. Someone get him a Gatorade, God!

UNCLE TIM: Unless you’re into seeing hot guys sweat, then maybe that is your thing.

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: So anyway, let’s move onto the next big player on the floor. And then we have the Pornstache, whoof! He gets out there and he opens with a Penev! He opens with the same skill that is named after Eddie Penev, who is competing in the same final!

JESSICA: *inaudible*

UNCLE TIM: I know. And his Penev was really piked, and like Fred Flintstone flexed feet. It was terrible.

JESSICA: I don’t think it was that bad.

UNCLE TIM: I think it was.

JESSICA: Okay, Shannon.

UNCLE TIM: I know. You can call me Shannon. So of course, Eddie gets up there and he nails the crap out of his Penev; it was like ten times better than Pornstache’s. Plus, Eddie opens with a Moors. I know that it’s not called a Moors in men’s gymnastics, but in terms of body position and knee bend, Eddie’s double double was pretty similar to Victoria’s.

JESSICA: [laughing] It was not the same! You’re so dramatic today!

UNCLE TIM: Says the woman who is like describing Oklahoma and they’re crying, and the coaches running across the gym and you gripping onto the bar and you getting arthritis because you’re holding on to the railing too hard and anyway.

JESSICA: All true, though. All true.

UNCLE TIM: [laughs] But we’ll forgive Ennie’s- Eddie’s somewhat bad form because his Penev was so rad and he opened with two F tumbling passes, which is also awesome. And because he had the World’s biggest smile at the end of his floor routine when he stuck his triple full. That smile made my week, Eddie Penev, because, Eddie you usually take yourself very very seriously. Eddie’s not one to really smile. If there were an NBC fluff piece about him, Al Trautwig would probably call him a diva. But not at this meet. He was smiling! He was smiling. He was not in diva-tude mo- mode, so yes that’s kind of what went down on floor. It was exciting. Everyone should watch the routines and see who does the Penev better. The Penev is a Tomayo with a half out, so a- arabian double layout with a half out, FYI.

JESSICA: It’s-

UNCLE TIM: Now Jess. Oh go ahead.

JESSICA: I just wanna say Eddie Penev looks the best I have ever ever ever seen him. He looks incredible. He looks so solid, so confident. His landings were ridiculous. He is a star on floor. He’s amazing. And I say that after watching Enrique, who, despite his hipster ironic pornstache- or maybe it’s not in Chile, maybe it’s just like

UNCLE TIM: Cultural.

JESSICA: Yeah [laughs]. Um But he like he- he does- he’s just. Mm I don’t know, he does sexy floor. There are- there’s not a lot out there really isn’t. Who does sexy floor? The Cubans in the seventies and eighties, maybe. He like does a straddle pancake and he holds it and then he like lifts his arms all slow in the corner. And he’s got style, he’s got panache. He’s, you know and he does a little quarter turn out of his press handstand. He’s- he’s got something extra, but Penev smoked every fool there.

UNCLE TIM: It’s true. And now for my very important question, Jessica.

JESSICA: I’m ready.

UNCLE TIM: When is the right time to pick a wedgie?

JESSICA: Whenever you can work it into your choreography, do it.

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

JESSICA: [laughing] I’m totally serious.

UNCLE TIM: I ask because Klavora of Slovenia finished his routine and then as he’s walking across the floor to the kiss-and-cry area or wherever he was going, he’s just going going to town on

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: The butt of his leotard. I was like couldn’t this wait until you weren’t in front of the judges anymore? Like, he’s just like yanking on the butt of his leotard

JESSICA: I mean especially since the guys, like their tush isn’t even hanging out. Like if it’s a girl, like your whole butt cheek is hanging out. No one can see anything underneath your shorts, like just wait until you turn the other way! But maybe he had like something caught, and so it was like really painful.

UNCLE TIM: Yeah.

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: I don’t know.

JESSICA: We need a word for that when I say something like that. It’s not TMI- too much information, it’s too much speculation.

UNCLE TIM: TMS?

JESSICA: [laughing] TMS! Okay I’m ready. We can move on from that now.

UNCLE TIM: Alright so let’s talk a little bit about pommel horse. Alex Naddour won pommel horse with a 15.225, you know not as high as someone like Whitlock’s score or Berki’s score but I think that America’s really looking to Alex Naddour to make a final. If he does, that’s great, but I feel like Naddour, for America really needs to prove that he can hit pommel horse and rings consistently with a score of fifteen plus, ‘cos as we are looking ahead to the Team World Championships this year, it’s six- a six member team, so he doesn’t really have to worry about the five member, you know, pressure. So it’s six member team, you know America could take a rings and pommel horse specialist on their team and I think that he has a very good chance of making that happen if and only if he can continue to hit the fifteen plus routines on pommel horse and rings. His routine is interesting because it feels like it’s so fast. It’s like he really gets up and then he’s off right away. And it might be the composition a little bit but it’s also probably because he’s not doing the handstand pirouetting skills that for instance, Busnari of Italy and Max Whitlock are doing where they go up and then pirouette down and pirouette back and then come down and- those take a little while to get into and out of. So yeah I think the composition of Alex’s routine is smart. Get- get up there, get all the difficulty in and get off.

JESSICA: This is my question- uh slightly off topic but I think we should refer to him as Mr. Hollie Vise. I mean,

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

JESSICA: I mean if we’re gonna give people- I mean if we’re gonna give people a way to remember everyone like Pornstache and Penev I-Used-To-Be-From-Hungary and Dancecam, I just feel like Mr Hollie Vise is very important. ‘Cos that’s a serious- I mean you know

UNCLE TIM: Get

JESSICA: That’s a serious get. I mean, that’s you know, well done sir. And my other question is uh why doesn’t he have a huge modelling contract already? I mean, he’s out of college; he can be a professional now. I mean, why aren’t I seeing him on more billboards? Is what I’m asking. Hollie, can you, can you make this happen, please? Like I would like to just… more photos of him please.

UNCLE TIM: [laughs] Alright.

JESSICA: Seriously. I mean, it’s good for gymnastics. I don’t see anything wrong with that. A calendar, maybe?

UNCLE TIM: How many gymnasts do you see on giant billboards? I think the last time that, I mean, probably Nadia was the last big one or the Jocky Underwear commercial [laughs]

JESSICA: Jocky Underwear! Uhh well I haven’t been in the South enough, so I know about the girls but a guy, a male gymnast on a billboard. [clears throat] I don’t think I’ve ever- maybe like in the eighties. When, in a very small town when the you know gymnastics tour came round?

UNCLE TIM: Who knows? Anyway, let’s talk about vault because

JESSICA: [gasps]

UNCLE TIM: On the Gymternet, we always talk about Yamilet Peña of the Dominican- where’s she from? The Dominican Republic? No. Santo Domingo- yeah Dominican Republic I’m right. Alrught.

JESSICA: Of course you are! Shannon Miller’s always right!

UNCLE TIM: [laughs] So. So we talk about her scary handspring double front on vault. But this past weekend, we saw a vault that was scarier than Yamilet Peña’s Produnova AND Fadwa of Egypt’s Produnova combined. That’s saying a lot. Jessica, tell me about what happened with Mirzaev of Uzbekistan.

JESSICA: Oh my God, this is terrifying. Ok and then I have a whole rant to go on about this.

UNCLE TIM: Ok.

JESSICA: But ok so he did a- he did his double pike vault. Was it or I think it was a Tka- a Tkatchev

UNCLE: Tsuk double pike!

JESSICA: A Tsuk double pike, yes. So he did his Tsuk double pike. And the weird thing was, it didn’t look like he was super low. It didn’t look he didn’t have enough height, like no one even moved around the vault, like normally when someone’s about to open,you know everyone starts to crouch, like ‘Oh my God, I don’t want to see this’, no one moved, the judges, the coaches, everyone’s just sitting there. But I don’t know if he didn’t open too soon or he didn’t pike enough or he just didn’t get enough rotation. He landed completely still, holding his pike position on his neck. So basically the tops of his shoulders, back of his neck were what touched first and his head completely tucked in. That took all of the weight and he crunched down on his ankles and then sort of, you know, hobbled off. And he’d definitely hurt one of his ankles really badly but I was like, I couldn’t believe he got up. I mean, he landed on his neck. Like, I think if he was an inch more rotated or an inch less rotated, he would not be here anymore. It was terrifying.

UNCLE TIM: Yeah his vault was definitely scary and then also Pornstache did a scary Tsuk double pike. His wasn’t as bad but it was very short. You could see it went out instead of up and it was really short, I’m surprised his ankles handled that. Umm and while we’re on the topic on injuries, we’ve talked about Jossimar Calvo Moreno in the past, he’s the cool g- he’s does the double back off the end of the parallel bars- a full twisting double back off the end of parallel bars. We’ve talked about him; he’s from Colombia. He hurt his ankle on the f- during the floor final. He did a front double full and punched.

JESSICA: [pained noise]

UNCLE TIM: And just kind of completely crashed and hurt his left ankle and I’m actually surprised we don’t see more of those kind of crashes on floor, especially with the twisty elements and the other twisty elements on floor. I feel like that’s umm an opportunity for injury to happen for some guys if you’re twisting into the floor and you don’t time things well.

JESSICA: Alright, so I have to rage out for a minute here and I’m already very depressed this week because, I don’t know if you’ve seen my Facebook posts over the last 24 hours, but…

UNCLE TIM: No. I haven’t.

JESSICA: You don’t stalk my Face- Facebook all day long? No wonder you can get so much done.

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

JESSICA: Okay. First of all, I’m glad that you’re- I’m glad that I’m rubbing off on you and you say twisty now when we’re talking about floor. Secondly [clears throat], I’ve been very upset the last 24 hours because if you’re a Game of Thrones fan and you haven’t watched this week’s episode, fast forward this about a minute. [sighs] I’m very upset about this last episode because my favourite character, Prince O’Brien, did not make it and I-I’ve been basically in like a little a little cloud. A little rain cloud has been hanging over me. A storm cloud, all day. I’m just very upset and so I’m gonna take it out on this issue right now.
[Punching noises]

JESSICA: Rage o-meter!

[Boxing match sounds]

JESSICA: [aggressively] Rage o-meter!

JESSICA: It is totally sexist of everyone to say that the Produnova vault in women’s should be banned and not talk about roll-out skills for men or talk about the double-flipping backwards vaults for men. When men first started doing the double-flipping vaults, everyone said the same stuff: ‘it’s too dangerous, look at all the injuries’. Remember the 2003 Worlds in Anaheim? There were three of the male vaulters. There was like three of the male vaulters had to be carried away! They couldn’t even walk off of the podium. It was terrifying! And- but all of a sudden, the same thing’s happening for women and it’s all ‘Oh no no it has to be banned, it’s too dangerous. It’s too dangerous’. I just feel like it’s straight sexism. It totally is. Like I, there’s always gonna be a gymnast that shouldn’t do it. And you know men, when those vaults first started happening, think of the German gymnast who was paralysed doing the double-flipping backwards vault, and we had that horrible injury of the kid at Nationals last year. And this still happens. And he was luckily, you know, fine, but you know this is gonna happen with double-flipping skills. Period. And I just feel like there’s a- there’s a definite sexist element to women trying a harder skill. And I I just think that it’s disproportionate when it’s something that women are doing. Am I totally making this up, or? What do you think?

UNCLE TIM: No, I mean the first guy who performed this vault in I want to say at the 1980 Olympics was Jorge Roche of Cuba. It’s named after him and if you go on YouTube, you can see the video; we will not post it on our site but if you search for in on YouTube, it is the most terrifying vault ever. He is lucky he walked away from that.

JESSICA: Yeah it’s like one of those things, the same thing if you watch- I feel like the early skateboarding and half-pipe videos and stuff. I mean, they’re terrifying and it’s a combination of skill, expertise and equipment, honestly. Equipment and things like the advent of really good pits and resi-pits that allow people to do things like this safely. So, yeah that’s my rage o-meter for this week. Write in if you totally agree and think that I’m the one who’s sexist, which obviously I’m not.

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

JESSICA: Okay. I’m ready for more Portugal.

UNCLE TIM: Alright, one last routine that we have to talk about, just because he was a major player in the past. Zhang Chenglong of China. He was the 2010 high bar gold medalist, 2011 high bar silver medalist. Last year, we talked about him at Chinese Nationals because he had the ugliest grossest bruise on his arm. I have no clue, it looked like he had gangrene or something.

JESSICA: [disgusted noise]

UNCLE TIM:Obviously he didn’t but it was disgusting. Anyway, he competed at this World Cup event and umm he performed a Cassina, which is impressive because one of Coach Rick’s criticisms of the Chinese gymnasts on high bar is the fact that they got away with doing really crappy releases. By that, Coach Rick means Jaegers, Tkatchev halves and no Kovacs style releases but uhh Zhang Chenglong did one at this meet. He performed the Cassina, the full-twisting double layout over the bar but unfortunately, he fell on it but it’s good to see that the Chinese are pushing the envelope on these skills, so.

JESSICA: It’s called male code-whoreing when they did that

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

JESSICA: The Chinese- the way that they do high bar in this case. But what- I think we need a new word for this like… like code-slutting for the men. Code-whoreing for the wom- women.

UNCLE TIM: Isn’t that sexist to use a different term for the men and women?

JESSICA: Totaally, yes. For sure.
[Both laugh]

UNCLE TIM: Ok, that’s my fault we’re back to sexism. Anyway, let’s talk about Canadian National Championships. What happened, Jessica?

JESSICA: Well this was very exciting because I am like kind of blown away by this. So, Ellie Black repeated as champion, which obviously we knew she was gonna be this champion because she received her- a pass-along gift from the Gymitations contest. Tandoori Chicken, of course, won for Tandoori Chicken’s photograph of Ellie Black kind of catching the bar with her face, which is an imitation of Dannell Leyva catching the high bar with his face, and then Tandoori Chicken then posed catching the high bar with his little stuffed chicken face. So, it’s Tandoori Poulet, excuse me. He’s French Canadian. I- No offence meant. Excuse me. So, long story short, Ellie Black wore one of the awards this weekend before the competition started, holding Tandoori Poulet with his little GymCastic grip keychain. So obviously she was gonna win. That wasn’t the surprising part. But, do you want to guess what she scored? Her all-around?

UNCLE TIM: Ummmmmmm… 59.25?

JESSICA:No ok, that’s that’s a little too high, but

UNCLE TIM: Oh. Bummer.

JESSICA: But she did score a 58.05

UNCLE TIM: Mmm.

JESSICA: Which is a- that’s a big-ass all-around score. And that puts her in the- with the current rankings as- the All-Around has them, which were updated like a month ago for women. That puts her in the top 5 in the World. For all-around scores.

UNCLE TIM: My question is, was there bonus, though? ‘Cos I know last year there was bonus if you did, for instance, a double-twisting Yurchenko on vault. At least for the Juniors, I know there was last year. I don’t know about the Seniors.

JESSICA: Editor’s note: there was no bonus for the Seniors. The score stands! Very exciting, but Ellie Black, oh my God like she is so incredibly incredibly fit. And her skills look so easy for her and she was incredibly incredibly consistent, I mean watching practice, like every routine she did. And um I wonder if she’s added- and this is a umm an element of artistry with her floor, because she has this like- I mean her floor is definitely I feel like more artistic and she’s emoting more. I really like that she like bangs on her own legs in her routine. I love that kind of thing. A little violence goes a long way with me. And she had- she had this like leo that was like half nude-y arm and half regular leo arm.

UNCLE TIM: Oh yeah, yeah.

JESSICA: A little something different, I mean, you know, pushing the envelope a little bit. I like- I like seeing something like that. Victoria Moors, one of our favourites, of course the one that does the double-twisting double layout on floor and had like one of the most beautiful routines in the World. I’d put her up there with Catherine Lyons. Princess Catherine of Genovia. Up there with her beautifulness- her artistry and her routines. She did not have a great meet. She still came in third, I mean

UNCLE TIM: Where’s Catherine Lyons from now, Italy?

JESSICA: Now she’s from Genovia, yes! Now [laughs] now she’s from the same country that the Princess Diaries Princess is from.

UNCLE TIM: Oh. Gotcha. I can’t keep up anymore, ok?

JESSICA: [laughs] This was all Evan.

UNCLE TIM: I thought you said Genova. I was like, hmm ok.

JESSICA: Europa, Europe, Genovia. She has many kingdoms. Including the kingdom in our hearts.

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

JESSICA: Ok. I couldn’t stop myself. Ok Victoria Moors. Great meet. She’s fantastic. Didn’t
have the best meet, though. As her coach said, God was not there during her beam routine [laughs]. I was like is that a good thing or a bad thing, like if you need God, that should be scary, right? Um, she said that he was maybe in the bathroom or taking a bath. Um I- the conversations she has with her coach, I just kind of- totally bizarre. She’s doing a full-in freaking dismount on beam so, I mean, hello? That’s pretty badass, like we rarely see that on beam anymore so hats off to her for always increasing her difficulty. But she had a fall on that and then she also had on bars, instead of doing her dismount, she’s doing a double front dismount. She had a fall on that and now Ellie Black is actually doing the Moors dismount, so she does a toe-on layout half. Karen Cockburn, you now the trampolinist, remember her? From Canada, incredible Olympic medalist and she… last year took a year off to have a baby?

UNCLE TIM: Yes. I remember Coach Rick tweeting something about it.

JESSICA: So she has come back now, after having a baby, doing trampoline and she placed third. You know who she placed third behind? Oh, the Olympic Champion. So, not too shabby. And- trampoline, this is what I have to say to all of my friends, who after they have babies and can’t do gymnastics anymore-

UNCLE TIM: I knew this was coming.

JESSICA: Good. I’m glad you knew it was coming. Uncle Tim, what am I going to say?

UNCLE TIM: You’re gonna instruct us how- well, how women should do exercises to strengthen their vaginas after having babies.

JESSICA: That’s right. Because I don’t want to hear it, that you can’t do gymnastics anymore ‘cos you had a baby because every time you jump on the trampoline, you have to pee. Just do your kegel exercises if- listen, if Karen Cockburn can come back and do the G force routine that she is doing after having a baby, you can do your back tucks of two foot off of the trampoline without tinkling, ok? Let’s get to the kegels. Everyone squeeze, alright? I don’t want to hear anyone’s excuses.
[Both laugh]

JESSICA: It’s very important! I need all my girls in gymnastics! Ok, next.

UNCLE TIM: Yes.

JESSICA: Um, do do you want me to go on or do you want me to talk more about kegels?

UNCLE TIM: Uh I’m I’m good on that front, yeah.

JESSICA: [laughs] Ok. So the other thing that I wanted to discuss is just how amazing trampoline is in Canada, like they’re obviously leaking out Olympic Champions all over the place up there. But they have Jason Barnett who has the world record for difficulty and Coach Rick posted his routine on this- his site and I- he does a quad Driffus. I didn’t even know that was a thing. It’s like a Triffus, I’d heard of, so three- a triple front with a half but this is four- it’s a piked front flip four times with a half out. That’s insane. So and the other thing is the… trampoline they keep track of the freakin’ difficulty. They have the world record in difficulty. Uncle Tim, what are we going to have to do to get this world record thing going in gymnastics?

UNCLE TIM: Umm not change the Code of Points every four years? As someone who’s thought a lot about stats in gymnastics, it kind of sucks that we change the Code of Points every four years because for instance, when you have basketball, when you do stats, you kind of have before the shot clock and after the shot clock was instated. In gymnastics, there- you have the- you have the under the ten and then post under ten you have the open-ended scoring. The rules change all, every four years so you can’t really say ‘Ok, this routine is the most difficult’ because every four years, the criteria changes, so. You can do it for a quad, yes, but you can’t do it all the time.

JESSICA: I think we need to start just having this like for the quad. We should just do it. And like we’ll present it at the end of the quad. Congratulations, under this- in this quad- but it has to be in international competition, it can’t be people’s like National Championships and stuff. That should be our rule.

UNCLE TIM: Yeah.

JESSICA: Don’t you think? Ok.

UNCLE: Ok.

JESSICA: Alright, now that that’s decided

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

JESSICA: So, [laughs]

JESSICA: We got a voicemail this week with a question about Ellie Black. I’ll play it right now.

VOICEMAIL: Hey GymCastic, this is Elle from California. Just watched the Canadian Nationals and Ellie Black’s beam routine was crazy. Do you think she could contend for a beam title at Worlds?

JESSICA: So to follow up on that question, her beam D score is a 6.5 and she got a 15 at this meet. So comparatively, what do you think? Could she… she does her roundoff full better than Iordache, if you ask me.

UNCLE TIM: Back handspring full. But yeah.

JESSICA: Yeah. What did I say?

UNCLE TIM: Roundoff. She does one of those funky back handsprings where she basically bends over and touches her toes and then does her back handspring. Uhh [laughs]

JESSICA: Yes. That’s my style. I like that. ‘Cos I can never sit. Sit like there’s a wall in front of you, I could never do that. I prefer the whip-it style.

UNCLE TIM: [laughs] Gotcha. You know, I’m not gonna make any balance beam predictions because last year when you look at the ranking throughout the World, there were a lot of scores that were 15 plus and then when it came to the World Championships, [laughs] like no one scored a 15 plus and the winner, yeah, the scores just did not compare to what we saw at the World Championships. Um… so I’m gonna hold off on this one. I mean it’s possible but beam can be a dicey event.

JESSICA: I think she has a chance to make beam finals. I think she has definitely has a chance to medal at Commonwealth Games, for sure, this summer. Worlds, I definitely think she has a chance to make finals. And if she did the same routine with no… like the bobble-athon that everybody else has, um I think she could… yeah maybe a bronze. Definitely in the top. But yeah I definitely think she could make a beam final. At Worlds

JESSICA: If you love this show, please consider supporting us. There’s a couple ways you
can do it. You can review us on iTunes or Stitcher. Have you done this yet? Have you written a review? What is your excuse? Do it right now. Stop whatever you’re doing. No even better yet, keep listening to the show [laughs] then go over to iTunes or Stitcher and write a review. It can just be like a star or it could be like ‘could not live without this. Best thing that ever happened to me in my life. I love this show. Someone please give them a butt-load of cash so that they can keep doing this for the rest of their lives. Where are you, venture capitalist funders?’. Just something like that. [laughing] Just sort of an example would be awesome. Angel Investors, if you’re looking for a good sports show, this is what you’re looking for. Um yeah something like that. And just that little thing will take you like two seconds and it totally helps us out and it you know helps support the show, helps people find us. And so we would love it if you would do that. You could also donate if you want. Other venture capitalists out there, looking to donate. Thank you to everyone who has donated, and all of you who’s set up their monthly donations. We appreciate it so much and all the money that you spend there donating or shopping through our Amazon link, that little portion goes back to the show and we put all of that money directly towards supporting our equipment and to paying for our bills. So, let’s talk about Gymternet news, shall we?

JESSICA: Uncle Tim, you got a very serious question on twitter this week and you revealed some rare sexy data. Like snow leopard level of sexy data sexy data
JESSICA: [singing] Sexy dataaaa! [Brass band plays]

UNCLE TIM: [sexy voice] Sexy data…

UNCLE TIM: So I looked at which are the worst events for each country. I looked at what is your lowest scoring event. I know that some people think I should do a comparison and say ok well, even if pommel horse, say, is your lowest scoring event, but you still, let’s say in Team Finals are ranked number one on pommel horse then it’s not really your lowest event but I disagree with that, so let’s say, you know, my team of 15 average on floor but like a 13 average on pommel horse, I still say that my team’s worst event is pommel horse. It’s not- I mean, even if I’m like ranked number one on pommel horse with a 13 average, I’d still say my team’s worst event’s pommel horse.

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: So that’s what I’m saying. Anyway, I looked at that to see which events were the lowest scoring events and typically, pommel horse was the lowest scoring event. China and Japan also had difficulties with floor at different times. The United States, really, pommel horse but who’s surprised by that? Germany as well was pommel horse. Who’s surprised by that?

JESSICA: This is why we should get rid of pommel horse, I think.

UNCLE TIM: [laughs] Well, so I also did the women but I didn’t publish the data. So,

JESSICA: [gasps]

UNCLE TIM: I gonna have a little pop quiz for you

JESSICA: [squeals] I’m ready! I’m ready!

UNCLE TIM: Alright, so just looking at the last 10 years in gymnastics- 2004 to roughly 2014, whatever. Generally speaking, what’s the lowest scoring event for the women?

JESSICA: Across the board, I guess I’m gonna say vault.

UNCLE TIM: No.

JESSICA: What?

UNCLE TIM: I’d say floor. It’s really floor. A lot of the top teams, you know teams that make team finals, it’s floor for them. Um, in terms of their lowest scoring event. There is one country that’s the exception to this rule. What is it, Jessica?

JESSICA: The United States?

UNCLE TIM: No.

JESSICA: China. Russia. Russia.

UNCLE TIM: No. No.

JESSICA: Uh… Romania?

UNCLE TIM: Yes. Why is that, Jessica?

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: What is their lowest scoring event?

JESSICA: Bars.

UNCLE TIM: Yes. Yes. Quiz for you. Quiz question. If we look at Romania’s World Championship performances over the past 10 years, bars was not Romania’s worst event one time or one year at the World Championships. In what year did Romania not post its worst score on bars? It was some- it was some other event but it wasn’t bars.

JESSICA: What year was that?

UNCLE TIM: Yep.

JESSICA: Oh, crap. Last 10 years?

UNCLE TIM: Yep.

JESSICA: Uhh…was there like an earthquake during beam?

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

JESSICA: [laughs] I don’t know! I don’t remember!

UNCLE TIM: No, there was not an earthquake, Jessica. It was in 2007 and I’m not exactly sure why, but bars was not Romania’s worst event in 2007. At the 2007 World Championships in qualifications and Team Finals, floor was Romania’s lowest scoring event. I don’t know if it was because Steliana Nistor was part of the team and she was pretty good at bars compared- compared to other Romanians. I don’t know if it was because the code was still relatively new and they were still trying to figure things out. I don’t know, but it was not bars in 2007, it was floor for the Roma- Romanians. So there you have it, a little sexy data for you.
JESSICA: [laughs] I’m really shocked that vault isn’t the lowest scoring because I just figured the Amanar factor would make it so there’s only like, you know, one or two countries who ever can score that high but floor. Floor! This is fascinating! Ok. Now, something so freaking exciting is happening in the UK that we discussed um back in October because we are of course are awesome and totally on top of everything. And that exciting thing is that the BBC is now confirming that they are producing the gymnastics reality television show and it has a name. It’s called Tumble! [squeals]

UNCLE TIM: I was wondering how to say that with the exclamation point at the end. Is it ‘TUMBLE!’ or is it ‘Tuuuumble!’

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: Is it like, how do you pronounce it? I don’t know. Yeah. Continue.

JESSICA: Ok. Um so, the even more exciting than the show being on is that the judges will be, in addition to some other people, Nadia, freaking Nadia, and Louis Smith. Oh my God, Nadia and Louis Smith together are gonna be hilarious ‘cos Nadia’s really funny, actually, she just says whatever she thinks. And Louis Smith of course we know does what he wants [laughing] and says whatever he thinks. And then Beth Tweddle is gonna be a mentor on the show. [squeals] I’m so excited! Oh my God, I can’t wait. So this is gonna start this Summer and there aren’t a lot of details; they haven’t really figured out all the details yet, but umm supposedly this Summer, maybe on Saturdays in the BBC and of course we will tell you all the ways to watch as soon as we find out. I cannot wait for there to be the equivalent here and I’m so excited for all of Britain. Great Britain. [laughs] For having this. What will the first terrifying moment be on this show? Will it be an injury or will it be a… wardrobe malfunction?

UNCLE TIM: [laughs] or maybe a combination of both.

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: Mmmm…I don’t know. I feel like it’s going to be maybe a punctured breast implant.

JESSICA: [laughs] Oh my God! I feel dizzy! Oh I laughed too hard. Oh oh I need oxygen. I seriously just felt dizzy [laughs]. Oh my God, I’m gonna have to learn a new way to laugh. This can’t be healthy. Oh, ok. I’m fine. I’ve recovered. Ok [sighs]. Ok, so [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: [laughs] Sorry, I’ve been watching Orange is the New Black and that’s how Red hurts one of her friends.

JESSICA: Oh, that’s right, when she punches her in the boob. [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: Yep. Yep.

JESSICA: One of her frenemies. Oh my God [sighs]. I knew someone that wrestled that had breast implants. She’s a high school wrestling coach, actually. I was always like ‘how the freaking-’ well she was probably better than all the high school boys, so. But I was like how are those not gonna get just totally- ‘cos they just get smashed, you know. But maybe they’re that strong. Anyway.

UNCLE TIM: I don’t know. I do not know

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: I’ll take your word for it. So, anyway what do you think’s gonna happen?

JESSICA: Um I think rips are gonna be a big thing. I think they’re gonna totally show everybody’s rips and that’ll be a thing. I really don’t think they’ll let them do anything where they can get seriously injured. I feel like it’s gonna be sort of circus-y, you know so kind of like Circus of the Stars, back in the day, like I think it’ll be a lot of spotted and um have belts on and all that kind of stuff, so I think rips. And then we can have a combo of wardrobe malfunction if you have like a rip and then your hand’s all bloody

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

JESSICA: and then you brush your I don’t know- that could be… that kind of thing, so. In other gymternet news, [sighs] this I seriously, I don’t…this is one of those things, I’m like seriously, why do we even talk about this? Romanian head coach, Bellu, is threatening once again to leave the Romanian Gymnastics Federation blah blah blah, he does this every year. Like, I’m so over this guy. Like I just…I mean how many times- I guess if this is the only way that you can get a raise or a vacation or have any sort of, you know, rights in your job and this is what you have to do, I guess like that’s how it work in Romania, whatever. But oh my God, like every year he threatens to leave. And sometimes they do and then they always come back and so this time I guess he was running for President of the Romanian Olympic Committee and he didn’t get it; some other guy got it and he just totally threw a fit. I mean, to me- and he said that, you know, that it’s politics and that you know the election was decided before anyone voted and all of that may be true, but, I mean, when he goes to the press and goes ‘I don’t think that anyone will be hurt if I quit the gymnastics team. Now I have realised that I have lost 30 years and I went to seven Olympics but it doesn’t mean anything. It seems that what I have done for 30 years doesn’t matter’. I mean, hello? Drama queen. Seriously? Basically, he threw himself on the ground and pounded his fists and- on the floor like Moceanu did in her floor routine in 1996. This is basically the equivalent of what he said right here. I’m so over this.

UNCLE TIM: Well, I mean, it depends on how you view the World. Right, so if you view the World as a meritocracy, he would feel like he deserves a better position, right? Because he has done great things for the Romanian- Romanian gymnastics and for Romanians at the Olympics and, because the Romanians have been very successful under his guidance,he would believe that he deserves some kind of major raise and if he doesn’t get th- it then, you know, why- what has he been doing and why isn’t the meritocracy working for him?

JESSICA: That was very diplomatic. I just see it as a big baby. Big baby about this

UNCLE TIM: [laughs] I’m not saying that it’s right, I’m just saying maybe that’s his perspective on life in general.

JESSICA: In other news, there’s more and more Ranch videos coming out. Rachel Gowey and Alyssa Baumann.

UNCLE TIM: Did you say rant or Ranch?

JESSICA: Ranch!

UNCLE TIM: Oh, ok. It sounded like-

JESSICA: Ranch videos.

UNCLE TIM: It sounded like rant videos, I was like

JESSICA: [laughing] No.

UNCLE TIM: Really, [laughing] Jessica’s starting her own YouTube channel.

JESSICA: [laughs] I should! Get myself in even more trouble than I already do. [singing] Ranch videos! Uh, maybe there should be a rage o-meter, like a daily rage o-meter kind of video. No, that would not be a good idea. That- so, Rachel Gowey and Alyssa Baumann. Alyssa Baumann like holy crap and a half, like their beam is so good- their lines, their their form, I just-

UNCLE TIM: The United States of Amanar continues. Rachel gowey also performed a…Amanar in the Ranch video and it looked quite good. She also performed a three and a half and it also looked quite good. A three and a half on floor, pardon, not a Yurchenko three and a half, that’d be insane. Um, but yeah, she- she’s a little twister out there, um so yeah.

JESSICA: That’s exciting. And they also- who was it that one of our followers on Twitter suggested that we now call the front aerial, front aerial, side aerial combo the the Norah? The Norah Flatley? Yeah because she does it like so perfectly. Uh it’s just done- when it’s done so perfectly, it needs to be called that. Not that she’s the first ever to compete it but you know she’s kind of known for it. But it might just have to be called the Chow’s because- although Baumann, you know, she’s from WOGA. So another little Wogette, coming down the chain. You know you think not too much going on around there, they have a little pause and then poof! One year goes by and *inaudible* they’ve been training since she was in diapers comes in doing her three and a halfs. Gabby Douglas, speaking of the Ranch, is back at camp this month, which is huge. I, there was- I totally didn’t think she was gonna be back by now. Like, no way. Did you think she would be back this fast?

UNCLE TIM: No, although when Spanny was talking about her on the podcast a couple of weeks ago, she did make it sound like, she hadn’t really lost any skills and she was in good shape, so yeah I guess they thought she was ready compared to someone like, uh Aly Raisman, who still has not got to camp. Or Jordyn Wieber- she hasn’t been to camp either. So, yeah. Gabby kept working out even though she was going here, there and everywhere.

JESSICA: And the other person that is gonna be at camp is Mckenna Kelley, who is technically a level 10. I don’t think she qualified elite but um, maybe she just did, I’m not sure, but they’re inviting her to the camp. Do you have any thoughts on why they may be inviting level 10s to camp right now?

UNCLE TIM: I don’t know. Maybe because Marta wants to coach Mary Lou’s daughter after coaching Mary Lou? I don’t know!

JESSICA: [laughs] I think it might- I don’t know it it seems like they pull up level 10s for Pan Ams every year.

UNCLE TIM: That could be it, yeah.

JESSICA: Or not every year. Don’t we only have Pan Ams every like every other year? But you remember when like when was the last one? Shawn Johnson and Brandie Jay. I know there was something.

UNCLE TIM: And Jessica DeZiel.

JESSICA: Mm-hmm. It’s like one of those… we need to win here but we don’t want to spend our elites [laughing] on this meet, so let’s give some of the like amazing level 10s this opportunity and we’ll still win. So, mm. Just some thoughts. So the Youth Olympic Games are coming up and we are sending some trampoline uh athletes and I think rhythmic and men’s artistic but we’re- I don’t think we’re sending any women. So, why do you think we don’t send women to this when we send men?

UNCLE TIM: Sexism!

JESSICA: [laughing] Ding ding ding! That’s right! No I mean, think about like Russia. They sent Komova. That was the first time we ever saw her and it was like oh my God, you know, she was doing her Onodi front tuck combo and she just stunned everyone. But the US, we don’t send people to this, for- on the women’s side.

UNCLE TIM: Well we don’t send the juniors to too many big meets, right? We send them to Jesolo and we send them to maybe a friendly or two

JESSICA: Tokyo.

UNCLE TIM: Well Tokyo is not juniors, right? So Tokyo World Cup was a World Cup with seniors.

JESSICA: But that about one that that Bailie Key always goes to? Hasn’t she gone like the last two years in a row? Like around Thanksgiving?

UNCLE TIM: Oh, that one. Yeah yeah that one. I was thinking of the Tokyo World Cup, sorry.

JESSICA: No, no, no. Sorry

UNCLE TIM: Yeah. What else? Pac Rims, we send some to. I mean, the United States is pretty selective on the women’s side as to where we send gymnasts in general. It’ll be interesting to see what happens once the FIG changes the qualification process for the Olympics, to see if the United States start sending gymnasts to more FIG-sponsored events. Um yeah, and I think that’s- maybe the FIG’s goal is to up the level of their um their sponsored events.

JESSICA: The Youth Olympic Games is a little weird though, because you can only send one gymnast per country, which is very I don’t know but I guess they don’t want to make it a huge thing but it is- I don’t know. I’m iffy on the whole Youth Olympic Games thing. Even though I want to see as much gymnastics as possible, so of course I’m totally for it when it comes to that but, you know, I’m a little mm. Ok, crazy insane maniac news out of the University of Florida. Macko- Mackenzie Caquatto was on the show before NCAA Nationals is also a World medalist and Marissa King from 2008 Beijing Olympics, she is for- from the British team. They were coming home from NCAAs; they were partying, being kind of loud, walking into their apartment and I guess one of their neighbours came out and pointed an airsoft rifle. Air soft style rifle at them and told them to be quiet, blah blah blah. Didn’t shoot at them but, you know, threatened them. And he was then charged with two felony counts of aggravated assault, according to the police report. I- ok so I’ve asked around a lot about this airsoft style rifle because I wasn’t sure what exactly that was; it’s super scary. And my understanding is that is that it is a BB gun but instead of metal BBs, they’re plastic and, if you can maybe hurt someone if you shot someone in the eye. But it’s not a… it’s not any kind of lethal weapon in any way.

UNCLE TIM: Yeah, I’ve been shot by one in college. Umm and it stings. It definitely stings but yeah you’re not gonna die unless you get shot in the eye or something. Yeah.
JESSICA:I guess it- I mean I kind of think of it as like being shot with a paintball gun.

UNCLE TIM: Kinda. I mean I’d say maybe a paintball gun would hurt a little less? And with paintballing you’re usually… you are under some kind of consent. You’re both agreeing to go paintballing, right?

JESSICA: [laughing] Yes.

UNCLE TIM: [laughs] Whereas where you’re walking up a flight of stairs and some guy comes
out with an airsoft rifle, I don’t think, you know, Mackenzie and Marissa just whipped out you know their airsoft rifles out of their back pockets and were ready to take him on, so. So yeah I mean there’s definitely some fear there. I think a lot of people though just assumed it was like a shotgun and it was, you know um… yeah it was a shotgun and Americans are just having gun problems- gun control problems. But yeah. That said, I don’t think it’s the right way to ask two girls to be quiet.

JESSICA: Yes. Exactly. And especially college campus women, gun, nighttime. No. These things don’t go together. So that’s pretty scary and that was really quite shocking. I’ve really never heard of, besides you know, women on college campuses in the United States being obliterated all the time [sighs], I’ve never heard of anything like this happening to gymnasts before um anywhere. So, that was really scary and I’m glad it- nothing- it was, you know, nothing more than a threat. I’m glad it didn’t escalate in any way. So, in happier news, let’s talk about who’s coming up at the American Classic. This is the qualifier meet that’s happening at the Ranch. The qualifier for National Championships.

UNCLE TIM: Right, so. We have many Classics in the United States. We have the American Classic, which will be July 5th and then we also have the Secret Classic shhh it’s a secret! And we have that one, so don’t get them confused. The Secret Classic’s the one that’s usually broadcast and the American Classic, you might be lucky if you get videos on Gymnastike or YouTube from the parents. Anyway, so big names coming up for the American Classic. Who will be competing? Sydney Johnson-Scharpf, the little girl who took the Gymternet by storm last year, last year in 2013 at the Nastia Liukin Cup with her little sassy floor routine. Also competing, a girl we’re gonna talk about in a little bit- Shilese Jones. She will be competing again and we’ll explain why she’s so exciting in a second. So a bunch of junior international elites or hoping to be junior international elites and a lot of senior international elites will be competing but not necessarily the ones who are already senior team members and the big names that you might be used to seeing like Mckayla Maroney etc. They will not be competing, or at least they’re not on the roster.

JESSICA: So, Scott Bregman, if you’re listening, you know what would be so awesome and would basically put you into the annals of gymnastics history forever would be if there was actually a broadcast from the Ranch. I realise that the Ranch is, you know, purposely in the middle of nowhere and you can- there’s barely wi-fi there. But you know maybe we could just bring in a satellite for this event and broadcast the Ranch Qualifier. That would be I think the most exciting thing to happen on the Gymternet.

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

JESSICA: [laughs] I mean, it would be incredible, so…

UNCLE TIM: Until the deer start eating the satellite on the ranch and stuff, great.

JESSICA: Until the snakes get into it, until the camel comes by and takes it out. But, we really
think that you- if anyone can get it done, I mean, the Director of Communications at USA Gymnastics, Scott Bregman- legend of the Gymternet could do it. So, not that I’m putting out a giant, you know, challenge and saying, you know, it would be a failure if you couldn’t make it happen but I’m just saying, you know.

UNCLE TIM: Scott, send all of your hate-mail to Jessica, not me. This was not my idea.

JESSICA: [laughs] Okay.

UNCLE TIM: Anyhoo. Yeah.

JESSICA: let’s talk about Shilese Jones. Okay you should describe the skill because I- I think of her skill as a one and a half…okay so a double back with a one and a half flips.

UNCLE TIM: [pause] Yes. [laughs]

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: The big thing is when do those flips happen? So some people are saying that she’s doing a full-in and then a half into the next flip. Other people are saying she’s doing a one and a half in front out. So almost like a double arabian with an extra twist during the first flip. In either case, it’s a skill that’s not really being done very often; it hasn’t been done that much in the past. Merly De Jesus of Brazil did the skill back in like 2004, London Philips did the skill and she also did the Biles, back in the day- she did the double layout half out as well. Um so yeah it is an interesting skill that everyone’s kind of excited about and it’s, you know, unusual; it’s kind of like Mustafina doing the one and a half twisting double back off of bars. You know it’s just that little something different.

JESSICA: You know, we got a voicemail this week, finally [sound of cheering children]. We’ve been asking you guys for voicemails. I was talking to my friend this week and she was like ‘What, like, really I can just call? Like like an answering machine?’ I was like ‘Yes! Like an answering machine! That’s what it is an answering machine! Like back in the day’. Yes that’s what a voicemail is. So have you guys called and left a message for us yet? Because that’s how you can get in touch and we can play your voicemail an answering machine message on here. It would be so awesome. You should definitely do that. Remember you can contact us by voicemail at 415 800 3191 or on Skype from anywhere in the World for free. Call and leave us that message at GymCastic Podcast, or you can email us at gymcastic.gmail.com and of course remember to follow us on facebook- there’s always very very very lively discussion on our page so you will enjoy it very much. And now, let’s go the the mail bag.

JESSICA: First letter comes from Katie: Hey, GymCastic, so many things! [laughs] love her letters. Um, I completely loved your discussion about Aussie Nationals this week. Brilliant info- well communicated and explained, and this is me editorializing, that’s because we had the fabulou- fabulous Brigid from The Couch Gymnast and everyone should be following her of course. And now back to Katie’s letter. I’m a fan who- maybe I should do this with voices so that everyone can tell. I’m a fan who only really comes to watch Aussies at major internationals so it was good to take an interest in some other routines. And so she says a couple other things andthen she talks about Emmy. Next, Emmy’s awesome floor routine. Do you remember this little girl we talked about with the glasses and the little hip hop routine and she was so amazing and we were like ‘Is this her first routine ever? Is she a dancer? Who decided to add gymnastics? How incredible is she!’. We talked about her routine. If you haven’t watched this routines right now, it’s gonna be on our page again and it was up last week so you need to watch it. It will change your life. I’m not kidding you. It’s like- if you watch like puppy videos before you go to sleep like to like relax you or whatever, this is the kind of effect it will have on you [laughing] that’s how happy it’ll make you. So, she says, back to Katie’s later. Next, Emmy’s awesome floor routine. So, she’s from the Academy, which you should know because it’s where Ruby Harrold and Imogen Cairns are from. My new theory is that she must have taken an interest in Mincie or Ruby, since Ruby Harrold is committed to LSU. But that is just me speculating. She’s nine years old and her routines is a voluntary level 4 routine, so I’ve got fingers crossed that she makes it to the National Finals this Autumn. From Katie. Yesss! Oh my Gosh, they have Nationals for that level? That is so exciting! We don’t have Nationals for little kids here, we only have like state. That’s all we have for that level so that’s very exciting. And then we got anotherletter about Emmy that’s even more exciting! Uncle Tim, will you read this one?

UNCLE TIM: Sure, so it comes from Emmy’s coach and it says- Hi, in answer to your podcast questions it’s Emmy Turner from the Academy, the same gym as Ruby Harrold not Ellie Haverfield. Sorry to disappoint but this is her first time competing this particular routine; it wasn’t her first time competing period, as may have been suggested in the fa- on the YouTube video title. Anyway, so it was her first time competing this particular floor routines and she did have one last year that was nothing like this and nope she has never had a dance lesson in her life. This was a voluntary competition called GymStars and yep, the judges had nooo idea it was coming, which was utterly hilarious.

JESSICA: [laughs]

UNCLE TIM: Thanks for your lovely comments, just off to teach her to headspin on beam as Jess suggested last uh last week. Love, the badass coach.

JESSICA: [laughing] That’s so fabulous! Oh, hats off to you coaches for letting this girl be herself and be artistic. This is what makes you stand out when you’re utterly yourself. I just [squealing] love this kid! She’s so cute! I can’t wait to see her headspin on beam. [sighs] Oh, so and that letter came to us on Facebook; you can also message us on Facebook but really you should call the hotline and leave a message. I don’t know if I’ve suggested that strongly enough. Very strongly I suggest that. Okay. Now a comment from our website. This is from Art, he says: Hey, GymCastic, was just looking at scholarship numbers at University of Florida re. Silvia. Oh, so this is very interesting, this is what we were talking about when Jenni Pinches was on the show how Colussi-Pelaez, the one with the longitudinal aerial on beam named after her who competed for Spain at Worlds is transferring from the University of Florida to the University of Oregon and Jenni was horrified, she was like ‘I can’t even imagine doing that’ and we were speculating, we didn’t know why she was doing it um and what would happen, you know, [clears throat] no one really knew the reason that she was leaving. Colussi-Pelaez’s transfer, and University of Florida had to find room for another scholarship in 2015. Given how Colussi-Pelaez contributed in 2014- not a lot; I think she competed like twice I think? And anoth- you know that team is stacked, so. And how they needed to find a scholarship to stay under the twelve scholarship for Alex McMurtry to join the team for the beginning of 2015 season. They might even even encouraged her to look elsewhere, particularly given that Florida is bringing back- who they’re bringing back sorry, and the ridiculous freshman class that they have coming in. It might have been very difficult for Colussi-Pelaez to make her way into the lineup- something that might be significantly easier at Oregon State- at Oregon State. Keep in mind that the NCAA grant and aid agreements are not necessarily four year agreements. A lot of the time, they have to be renewed annually. Think Beckerman at UCLA. So, the interesting thing about this grant and aid I think is what the International Scholarships are called? But also every NCAA scholarship is a one year. There is no such thing as a four year scholarship- athletic scholarship in an NCAA division one school. That doesn’t exist. That is a whole thing that the NCAA probably wanted people to believe at some point but it’s not true. Every year, every athletic scholarship division one is an agreement’ you have to agree to it and be offered it every single year. There’s no such thing as a four year scholarship. Period. So [clears throat] I think that’s a… probably a very good guess. We don’t know- I mean this is all speculation, obviously and the other speculation there is that her sister has um committed to Oregon State so she would maybe get more time to compete at Oregon State and also she would be um able to be with her sister. So all speculation but I think that’s um…that’s a very good theory. Thank you everyone for all of your feedback and we have much much more so look forward to more of this next week and, Uncle Tim, what do you think the best way for them to give us their feedback is?

UNCLE TIM: I’d say probably call us. Because, you know, you emphasise that many many times. Leave a voicemail; you can leave us a voicemail at GymCastic podcast. You can also call us at

JESSICA: 415 800 3191.

UNCLE TIM: Exactly.

JESSICA: Which is not my phone number.

[Both laugh]

JESSICA: And remember no one answers the phone! You won’t have to talk to anyone! You can leave a voice message and don’t worry about anyone- having actually to talk to anyone and you can be anonymous. If you mess up in the middle, you can be like ‘Don’t play that! I want to start over again’ if you want to. I can edit you to make you sound brilliant. It’s great! [whispering] Call us!

UNCLE TIM: [laughs]

ALLISON TAYLOR: This episode was brought to you by Elite Sportz Band. Visitelitesportzband.com. We’ve got your back.

JESSICA: Visit elitesportzband.com, that’s sportz with a ‘z’ and save $5 on your next purchase with the code ‘gymcast’.

JESSICA: That’s gonna do it for us this week. Thank you so much for listening. Remember to check out our YouTube playlist and our fantastic transcripts online because we have a transcription team and they are fabulous and we love them and they do amazing work and they are our typing angels. Thank you to our transcription team. Uh, YouTube playlists, make sure to follow along to all of the routines. Thank you to everyone who wrote in, especially to Emmy’s coaches! And tell her hello from us. Until next week, I’m Jessica from Master’s Gymnastics.

UNCLE TIM: And I’m Uncle Tim from Uncle Tim Talks Men’s Gym.

JESSICA: See you next week. Thanks for listening.

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